How to stop caring what others think? This is a question many people ask themselves when they feel like everybody is judging them.
If you are reading this, you are probably one of those people. You know that you should not listen to what everybody around you is saying, but you don’t know how.
We, humans, are social creatures. We need to have people around us. But most of the time, our constant urge for interaction and desire for social acceptance turns us into people pleasers.
We have all been taught to respect others and listen to their opinions. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, we must learn to understand other people’s perspectives, but that shouldn’t come at the cost of our own self-confidence.
When you start worrying about what others think of you, you are just sabotaging yourself.
In this article, you will learn my all-time favorite tips on how to stop caring what other people think of you. In the end, I will even include recommended resources that you can look at.
People Actually Don’t Think About You As Much As You Think
Before I begin with the practical tips, let me make a few things clear.
The first one is that people actually don’t think about you as much as you think.
I was one of those people who used to replay past events in my head and think about what I could have said differently. I was obsessed with how others reacted to my words, and I was constantly thinking about what I can do to make them forget my words and actions.
Everything changed when I read this quote:
Let that sink in for a moment.
If you still have a hard time believing that others actually don’t think of you as much as you think, remember a time when someone said something silly.
Do you keep thinking about that one thing all the time? Probably not, because you have your own things to worry about. Yes, you still remember what this person said, but you don’t give it much importance.
So don’t think that others are obsessed with your life.
Whatever Others Say To You Is A Reflection Of Themselves
The second thing you need to understand to stop caring less about other people’s opinions is that ”People’s words reflect their character”.
When someone makes a negative comment about you, it’s just a reflection of what they don’t like about themselves. So the criticism is not even about you. It’s about them.
Here’s another quote that changed my life: Hurt people, hurt people!
Think about it! When you have a fight with someone, and that person really hurts your feelings, what’s your first reaction? You hurt them back, right?!
You don’t necessarily mean those things, but at the moment, you were so hurt that you wanted to hurt others as well. So remember this simple quote next time someone hurts you.
Now let’s go on to some practical tips.
1. Pay Attention To Whom You Take Advice From
So many times, we take advice from the wrong people. If you want to become an entrepreneur, don’t take advice from your friends who work on a 9 to 5 job. They won’t give you the advice you need, and they may even discourage you.
Stop asking people what they think of you and your ideas – especially critical, unhappy, and unsuccessful people.
Seek only advice from people who already have what you want to achieve.
2. Stay Away From Negative People
People who are constantly complaining and criticizing you have no place in your life. If the people you hang out with make you feel bad about yourself, you need to find better friends.
Here’s an image that represents what I mean:
It’s better to be alone than in bad company!
During the past few months, I realized that no successful and happy person will ever criticize you. If people are happy with themselves, they don’t bother to criticize others because that creates negative emotions.
They may give you constructive feedback, but they will never criticize you or belittle you.
You can’t stop people from being negative, but you can do your part in removing yourself from the situation.
3. Stop Being a People Pleaser
Sometimes we get so caught up proving to others that we are good enough that we end up doing everything except what’s right for us. We start acting like someone we are not, to please others and make them happy.
Yes, others may like you if you please them all the time, but you will never be fulfilled on the inside.
That’s something I did a few months ago. I wanted everyone to like me. I did everything for everyone, but I was never fulfilled. I later realized that if I pretend to be someone who I am not, I will never attract the right people in my life.
So I decided to start being myself all the time. Whether I am alone, with my friends, or with strangers, I decided that I am going to be 100% me.
When you start doing this, you will notice how negative people start disappearing from your life.
Focus on yourself! Remember that you are on your own journey. Everyone’s journey is different. Show up as your authentic self, and the right people and circumstances will come into your life.
4. Trust And Respect Yourself
Why do you value other people’s opinions over your own? Can it be that you don’t respect and trust yourself enough so that you seek validation from others?
Give an honest answer.
When you respect yourself, the need to seek approval from others disappears.
Once you respect yourself and your ability to make decisions based on your own values, you won’t even care what other people think.
You pay attention to other people’s opinions because you want to earn their respect.
Remember that you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. The only person you should prove your worth to is ”you”. When you respect yourself, everything around you changes. You either get more respect from people, or you don’t care whether they respect you or not.
5. You Don’t Owe An Explanation To Anybody
When someone disagrees with us, we start explaining why we are right and why they are wrong. This seldom works because people don’t like to be disagreed with.
Just as you started protecting your opinion, they will get defensive as well. And the result is just gonna be a fight.
Avoid explaining yourself to others unless they ask for it!
6. Stop Trying To Be Perfect
There is nothing wrong with trying to be a better version of yourself. In fact, I highly encourage that. But be careful that this strive for becoming better and better does not turn into perfectionism.
When you demand too much of yourself, sooner or later, you’ll feel overwhelmed. And when you feel overwhelmed, you become very unproductive and fail to reach your goals.
And when that happens, you feel unworthy and start seeking validation from others. This means that you’ve lost respect and trust in yourself. Don’t let that happen!
Aim for progress, not perfection!
7. You Can’t Change Others
I bet you have seen this image before:
It really shows that no matter what you do, there is always gonna be someone to criticize you.
When I first read ”Rich Dad Poor Dad”, the book that completely shifted the course of my life, I started recommending it to everyone.
The wisdom in that book shattered all my beliefs about the society we live in, so I wanted people to read it. But to my surprise, they didn’t take me seriously. They thought that I was crazy about going against what society perceives as normal.
I kept telling them, ”Come on, read it! It’s gonna change your life”. And then, when I got into personal development, I started telling them how important it is to develop ourselves in all areas of life.
I was constantly forcing people to change, but they refused, which only hurt me. After a while of suffering, I realized that I couldn’t change others. The desire to change must come from within. That’s why I decided to focus my energy completely on myself.
If the people around me like me for who I am and what I do, they will stay. If not – they are free to go and make a place for new ones to come.
Here are two books that I highly recommend you read if you want to stop caring what others think of you:
Before You Go
Thanks for reading this far. It shows that you are serious about letting go of all criticism in your life.
If you enjoyed this article and found it helpful, please leave a comment with your thoughts 😉
Also, if you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments as well.