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  1. I absolutely love your article and truly wish I had a chance to read it a couple of years ago. When you’ve been describing yourself I felt like you are talking about me. What helped me wasn’t a quote or someone else’s advice, I have learned by the life experience and realized the most important thing is what I think about myself and what makes me feel better. I am going to forward this post to my sister and she still struggles with this. Thank you.

    1. Thank you so much and I am glad you could relate to my story. Yes, sometimes we find resources that we wish we could have found earlier, but the important thing is to get the lesson and start applying it in your life. I see you’ve already done that so there is nothing to worry about or regret 😉

  2. When it comes to us and our personal growth and development we should not care about what others think about us because the only one who can stop us is us so so we need to focus on ourselves and do what is right and that is getting our eyes off people and focusing on us because at the end of the day we have no one to blame but us.

  3. There is some excellent advice in this article!

    I actually recently heard (from another source) a version of the advice about paying attention to whose advice you’re taking, and I’ve really taken it to heart. It doesn’t make sense to listen the the critiques and those who say you can’t when they themselves couldn’t or wouldn’t do what you’re trying to do – so why do we listen to those people, instead of listening to the people who’ve actually been successful at whatever our endeavor is? This piece of advice in particular has really changed the way I think about several of my career endeavors.

    I also struggle with not being a people pleaser, and with accepting that we can’t change others – though I do think there’s value in open conversation, I know that that conversation is only valuable when both parties come in with at least a partially open mind. I appreciated the reminders!

    1. I am happy you got value from this post. It is so true that we sometimes take advice from people who are not living what we are moving towards. I was one of those people too and I am so happy that I realized that everyone’s advice can be good but not everyone’s advice is good for everyone.

      When it comes to people-pleasing, it’s important to know your values and where you are heading in life. Certain people just have no place in your desired lifestyle and it’s not worth the effort to please them.

      And yes, conversations with others is definitely a great way to shift their perspective, but never force your opinions on someone. The desire to change must come from within.

  4. I have the heart of a servant and will go out of my way to make sacrifices for others to make them feel loved, heard, and cared for. However, many people, unfortunately, take advantage of your good nature and good intentions and actually abuse them. So I am a lot less of a people pleaser now and consider myself a lot more in the daily decisions I make. Thanks for sharing a great post. Many truths are spoken in this article.

    1. It’s so great that you want to help people, Schalk. I really value people who are not only thinking of themselves but about others as well. It’s easy to fall victim to people who take advantage of your good intentions sometimes. One tip to help you with that is to get clear on your values. They are your guiding system whether you are aware of it or not. When you know your values you make decisions much quicker and you know whether your time is well-spent helping certain people.

  5. That is so wonderful. I Mostly like the illustrations at the end they speak volumes with regards to what people say. You could never please them. there is always something wrong. The fruit analogy is also powerful.
    And finally, your talk is captivating and very resourceful.

    Thank you, Delyana,

    Ntlhane

  6. Delyana-

    Very helpful post. My two favorite tips in the post are to 1) “stay away from negative people” and 2) “you can’t change others”. During 2020 both of those tips were ones that I used even before reading your post. I completely agree that the only person we can control is ourself.

    I have been also eliminating the toxicity of negative people from my life. They are trying to drag you down and can suck the life from you as well.

    I am happy to have found your post and wish you a happy and healthy 2021! Thank you!

    1. Thank you so much for sharing that, Anne. Staying away from negative people and realizing that you can only change yourself are some of my favorites as well. Negative people can really drain your energy and when you try to change them you drain your energy even more. My advice to anyone reading this is to just let go of those people and focus on yourself! 😉

  7. Great and insightful information. We have been so conditioned that even when we say we don’t care what others think there is a part of us that does. It requires a conscious awareness of this in order to implement your suggestions on a consistent basis. Thanks for your important revelations on this subject.

    1. I absolutely agree with you, Joseph. We often say we don’t care, but deep inside of us we do care what others say. It definitely requires a lot of consciousness at first but as time goes by it becomes second nature.

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